NOH8

Thursday 10.29.09




Today in my inbox was the notification from Adam Bouska's studio that Tommy and I had received our NOH8 photos! Adam started following me on Twitter several months ago (in case you didn't find this blog from Twitter and wish to join the millennium it's www.twitter.com/naughtylaurad) and I was intrigued by his profile pic and started to do a little research. He is an amazing fashion and celebrity photographer who started a campaign to protest Proposition 8 which was passed last year in California banning gay marriages. He started this in February and has already shot thousands of images in a style which is very unique to the project. Everyone wears white and has a temporary tattoo on their cheek. The imagery is very high key on a simple clean white backdrop and, of course, he photoshops the hell out of our eyes to make them jump out. My eyes are not that crystal clear blue. lol. Tommy 5tone (gay porn star extraordinaire) and I took one together which has not been released yet, but we both received our individual ones. I actually had another one which they forgot to send of me and the hot pink stuffed animal that I travel around the world with... yes he will be hitting the last continent with duct tape on his face and Sharpie on his cheek. So be it. It was a fun day for a good cause. So please spread the word and the imagery. If you are in the LA area next week and want to get your photo taken here is the info. Tommy is feeling like quite the celebrity and is annoying the shit out of me at the office running around calling himself an internet sensation. Puh-leeze.

I had to run an errand in UTC today and I literally haven't been up there in about 10+ years. Recently I was talking about good Italian food in San Diego and wasn't getting very far with any recommendations and I had remembered a place I went to years ago called Lorna's Italian Kitchen. Lorna was a real piece of work, kind of like those jerky waitresses at Dick's Last Resort except Lorna was probably a bitch in real life and not paid to be "bitchy". Big difference, ya know? Tonight there were only polite people working and I ordered the side of meatball and the meat lasagna to go. I decided to get crazy on a weeknight (obvi sarcasm) and open a bottle of Grenache from Australia and enjoy my hearty Italian meal with a nice red wine. I have to tell you about my "dot" system for labeling wine. Some of you know the deal... I always have a tiny red marker handy at my house and I put little teeny tiny red dots in the lower left corner of the label when I purchase wine. This is because I would come home from happy hour and be buzzed and open up an expensive bottle of wine. When you are already half in the bag, drinking a $60 bottle of wine does you no good. You do not enjoy it, nor do you fully appreciate it. So, if there is one dot, it is under ten bucks. If there are 2 dots the wine costs between ten and twenty bucks. So on and so forth. I think the most expensive bottle I ever drank at home was between $90 and $100. You might laugh and think that this is ghetto, but when all of your friends in town have keys to your house and decide to let themselves in when you are out of town to use the hottub and play ping pong it is rather helpful in keeping friendships together. The issue with this system is that now everyone knows about it. I was so proud of my genius idea that I told everyone and now I am doomed when I want to bring a bottle over to someone's place as a gift and they realize that I only think of them as a one or two dotter.

The food was alright. But I think I came to the realization this evening that I wouldn't know good Italian food versus bad Italian food versus Chef Boyardee. It's not my favorite thing in the world and I almost never crave it. My niece Nikki would eat pizza every day for the rest of her life if it had any nutritional value... I just don't get excited about it.

Pearla, I am sorry I cheated on you.

I SUCK

Wednesday 10.28.09


It seems as though when I take a few days off I just end up making up the hours later. It's not really time off because the work doesn't go away! I worked a 13 hour day today and by the time I left the office I was starving... I had some leftover Chinese food at home, so I went home and woofed it down and then got back on the internet and did more work til almost 11:00 pm. Those days feel good when they are over, but in the last few hours I wrangle with my thoughts about why this is happening and how I can be more efficient. My wrist is bugging again today because I was typing for hours on end. grrrr

Today was a good laugh in that we saw the edited version of our "test" the other night with the new equipment. Oh man, if you are easily offended by someone who is flamboyantly gay and in love with himself, pass on clicking this link. If you can appreciate a talented homosexual who is the master of improv and thinking cleverly on his feet, then click away. All I was doing was simply testing the lighting and the white background. I asked Tommy 5tone to pretend he was a gay porn star and answer my questions while we checked the audio. Here is the result.

So... here is a lesson for you in procrastination. My 20 year class reunion is coming up in Connecticut over Thanksgiving weekend and I have known about it for a long time. I was the class president so yeah, I knew about it approximately 20 years ago. I procrastinated buying a plane ticket until today and guess how much it was!? $930 bucks! This, my friends, is NOT the way to live.

WORKING AT HALF SPEED

Tuesday 10.27.09

Oftentimes in the morning when I go out to my car I am accosted by giant spiderwebs. Today was one of those days where I happen to catch it in the morning sunlight before he had a chance to get all up in my shit. They like to attach themselves to the trash cans to the left of my car and then to the driver's side door. It's a lovely encounter at that hour. My wrist was hurting still pretty bad, but not bad enough for me to skip taking this picture with my very heavy lens.


When I am already pushed for time for taking a few days off, you can imagine how frustrating today was working at half the speed that I normally work. And when you are in a hurry you forget about the pain and try to use the painful body part. Simple tasks like putting my seatbelt on... super annoying!

The highlight of my day was eating at Arby's with Ryan while we ran around picking up new equipment. Well, actually the highlight of my day was buying new gear, but the roast beef and cheddar sandwich was a close second. There is something magical about that thinly pressed "beef" and the fake orange cheese food stuff... combined with the sweet sauce... you have a little slice of heaven. Even food snobs have their fast food guilty pleasures.

PAIN

Monday 10.26.09



When I woke up in NYC on Sunday my left wrist was hurting a little and I just figured it was because of the shitty rainy cold weather... sometimes, you know...when you get a little arthritic pain. OK, maybe I am just getting old. The pain progressed and got much much worse as today went by. I was on the train coming back to SD and I swear to god I could feel my heartbeat in my fingertips. Completely painful, completely unexplainable. I didn't fall down. I didn't trip and catch my fall. I didn't have crazy sex. I wasn't tied up by my wrists. So what the fuck is the problem!? I couldn't type, and using my blackberry was almost out of the question. I tried to self diagnose it and put one of those sweet wrist guards that look like the pro-bowlers use but it wasn't really helping.

Grey Goose became my best friend. We stopped into Tivoli Bar downtown to say hi to our friend Michael who is one of the owners. (I met Kim many years ago when she was a bartender there.) He was hanging out with this nutty guy named Tom who I just adore. Tom works as little as humanly possible and travels all over the world. He is in his early 50's and is full of life. I have only met him three times, but every time it's a great conversation and I truly enjoy his company. He has so much positive energy!


We ate some of Tivoli's new Canadian menu (that sounds so ridiculous). Poutine is a pretty classic French Canadian dish which consists of french fries, gravy and cheese curds. Sounds gross? Try it! I know it looks like a bug, but you really don't understand til you put it in your mouth.





Michael trying to look cool.


Tom went home and the three of us went to J Bar, which has been getting some really good reviews lately. Unwarranted, I might add. I ordered pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon (overcooked), wild mushroom orriecchette pasta (overpowering mushroom taste), lobster and crab cake with a poached egg on top (what is the purpose of that?? it was average) and duck confit (not the best I have had.)

I went home and crashed out after a long weekend. I only woke up screaming from the pain 3 times in the middle of the night.
No bueno :(

U2 IN PASADENA

Sunday 10.25.09

I fucked up and thought I had an early flight out of JFK so I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to sleep in. I landed in Burbank at 4:30 pm, just enough time for Yesenia to pick Kim and I up and take us to our hotel, grab a bite to eat and head to the show. 96,000 people can be pretty overwhelming and the Rose Bowl is a bit of a mess but we had a blast. They played some really old stuff, and of course the new album is amazing. I have to say I think "Magnificent" is my favorite song off their new album, and I was delighted when they played "The Unforgettable Fire" which is one of my all-time fave classics.

I found this mask down by the concession stands and soon learned that everyone is supposed to wear the thing during the song "Walk On."It is in honor of a woman named Aung San Suu Kyi who was elected the President of Burma and has been in prison for 14 years since her election. There goes Bono again trying to save the world.... it must be tough between filming ipod commercials and making webcameos on Entourage. :)


Kim and I were smart enough to leave the stadium early in an attempt to catch a cab back to the hotel. However, we weren't smart enough to wear tennis shoes and we weren't smart enough to go the right way to where the taxis were. Good times! We were walking and walking and walking towards what we thought was the main street, and finally walked up to a hippy looking couple in a car and asked for a ride. I prefer to say we car jacked them, but in reality, they were very cooperative and we gave them $40 to simply transport us out of there. The guy was a little pissy, but the woman was very nice. We were dropped off at our hotel and were not smart enough to go to bed. We proceeded to get hammered at this strange place called the 35er (and the only reason I know this is because I tweeted it and went back and read it this morning! lol) and were eventually escorted home by a nice man whose name escapes me. I do remember that he was in our hotel room at some point and I do remember telling him that he wasn't going to get very far with either of us and that he had to leave. I guess at that point I went face down into the bed snoring and he talked to Kim for 20 minutes about how he liked me. Long story short, Kim has no idea if she gave him my phone number, her phone number or a fake one. I guess I can't expect her to close the deal for me if I can't even stay awake... what a lush.

SPONGE BRAIN

Saturday 10.24.09

Today was a 9 hour day of seminars. There were a few quick 15 minute breaks between, but honestly, I was on the edge of my seat for most of the day. (Well, after the adderall kicked in.) First up was a very informative 3 hour book publishing seminar, which was the primary reason that I came to this show. Then we had the honor of listening to keynote speaker James Nachtwey in such a moving presentation that I literally cried. (Good thing it was dark in there) He has been documenting war, famine and other crimes against humanity for many years. Listening to him today and give commentary on so many of his compelling shots was an unforgettable experience for me. It was truly an honor. Please take the time to click on these links and look at his images. It made me feel shallow, small and insignificant. At that moment I felt like there was no other purpose in life except photojournalism. I felt like any photograph that I had taken or might take in the future was dumb and futile in comparison to what he showed us. Photojournalists like James Nachtwey give a voice to people who have no voices. He has recently been in the news for his documentation of drug resistant tuberculosis in very poor countries, when oftentimes patients are inflicted with TB and HIV. He was one of three recipients of the TED award in 2007 where he was allowed one wish… He wished that tuberculosis was given the medical attention and funding that it deserved. This is something that is preventable, treatable and curable and needs to be addressed. His wish is finally being acknowledged.

After his lecture I sat in on a podcasting and social media seminar. Shockingly, there were very few people in this room. If you don’t think that social media is a valid way to increase your business, I don’t know what to tell you… you are seriously missing the boat. So there I was tweeting away and the instructor totally called me out for being on my phone and using Twitter. Then of course, I had to tweet about the fact that I got busted for tweeting. One of my followers said “Laura, if you are tweeting from a social media seminar you do not need to be at a social media seminar.” It was pretty funny, actually. I did learn a lot about the importance of podcasting and video content for a blog J

The last lecture of the weekend was about internet strategies and guerilla marketing. I didn’t get that much information that I didn’t already know from working at Naughty America for so many years. The adult industry is typically one step ahead of the rest of the world when it comes to technology and I do know a thing or two about getting traffic to your site, so I listened to the instructors tell a room full of photographers (who probably still use film) about how to buy a domain name and where to host it. HA! In all seriousness, I did walk away with a couple of good ideas…

I went back to my room and searched some more domain names and scooped up a bunch of Twitter names and then Hot Liz picked me up in a cab and we headed to Gramercy Park Hotel for a drink. I want to point out that Liz travels with road sodas and she is not under the age of 21.

That place is really really sexy… and there are some delicious drinks on their menu. I had the watermelon mint martini and a drink called Garden of Eden made of gin, ginger root and something else which escapes me now. Liz had the most amazing cinnamon mojito… I wanted to have sex with it.

We went to a gimmicky restaurant called Ninja NY

Imagine if Bruce Lee owned Benihana.

The food was average… but it was also close to closing time, so they were in a hurry to get us out of there. I am pretty sure they served me a plate of nigiri that had been prepared an hour beforehand. Oh well. Lesson learned. It was my idea and they both loved it, but I am never going back.

I want to close with this: In your day to day dealings with people… remember to always treat people as you want to be treated. I know you have all heard this before from your mother and I know that we all know that this is the right thing to do… but actually do it. Sometimes your actions might hurt someone’s feelings… just think carefully. It’s never a good idea to burn a bridge because of a simple act of discourteousness.

SABOTAGED BY NON-MEAT EATERS

Friday 10.23.09

I met up with Carly Parker, Hot Liz and Shanna for a quick bite and a bottle of wine this evening. Rain + 3 squirrely women = California Pizza Kitchen. Fantastic! I am in the most culinary diverse city on the planet and these bitches made me eat at CPK. It was a tragedy. Carly and Liz are in “relationships” but Shanna and I are about as single as they come, so we were most definitely interested in going somewhere after our caloric intake. (I refuse to even call it dinner) We stumbled into a tavern across the street and were hit on by a man who was about 88 years old. He was so cute, though…..he was too shy to tell us we were pretty so he had the younger guy next to him tell us. Adorable. We took a town car (again, taxis are for commoners LOL) and ended up at a very cool looking place called The Gold Bar in Little Italy. The place was a little pretentious, but in a cool way. There are goofy portraits on the walls of people wearing gold chains and there are skulls painted gold all over the walls.

Unique cocktails…. I had the Ginger Mint Lemonade (yum) and then the Lavender Kiss (which looked like dirty dish soap, but tasted alright). Early night tonight, I have seminars all day tomorrow….

I thought this logo was interesting.... at what point, if ever... would you change it? Never.

I HEART NEW YORK

Thursday 10.22.09

I arrived in NYC at the butt crack of dawn to attend a photography convention called Photo Plus Expo. It’s a massive amount of dorky middle aged dudes, but also a lot of the movers and shakers in the world of photography. I have enrolled in several seminars about branding, marketing, social media and publishing. I have thousands of images and I really just don’t know what to do with them so I am trying to wrap my head around the possibilities and options for me. I have been shooting stills for so long and have never really specialized in one field, so this is inspiring for me to figure out who I am as an artist. I have been around the planet and back (6 out of 7 continents! Australia is #7 in 4 months woohoo!) and I have tons of cool pictures to share with everyone..... Plus, I get to come to NYC again and hang out while the weather is still nice!

Last night I met up with Nikki Benz for a bottle of champagne and lemon drop shots (good ones... that is always a plus) at the W in Times Square. It’s entertaining for me to be out with a porn star and have random dudes recognize her…..but then it is even more fun when they try to be cool about the fact that they are porn connoisseurs and that they have just recognized a porn star. After having a martini with some cute young Wall Street interns, we went downtown and met up with a new friend of hers named Chris Santos….who happens to own a restaurant in the Lower East Side.

Chris Santos Interview (ironic that I know the woman who interviewed him for this piece… Laren Spirer! More on her later! This is about to become 6 degrees of separation in so many ways) It’s a rare occasion for me to enjoy dinner with the Executive Chef and owner of a place so I was super excited to eat my face off in his establishment. Stanton Social is a tapas style place with a lot of eclectic dishes from all over the world and Chris treated us to well over a dozen of them. I am by no means a food writer, or an expert of any kind in food reviews: I am merely here to tell you what I shoveled into my mouth.

I started with the pink grapefruit and mint martini which was to die for. It’s a strange combination that you would think tastes like ass considering what it’s like when you brush your teeth and then drink orange juice right afterwards. We then had a bacon, lobster, truffle marscapone on flatbread, tuna sashimi over avocado (I had to skip the jalapeno topper… I am the biggest wimp when it comes to spice), miso glazed Chilean sea bass, sweet and sour chicken cashew spring rolls, wild mushroom risotto cakes with parmesan and wild mushroom risotto flakes. OK breathe…. Then we had apple brie quesadillas with smoked bacon, duck confit empanadas, chicken arepas, sweet potato and butternut squash ravioli, orecchiette with rabbit sausage with fire roasted peppers and wild mushrooms, foie gras over vanilla risotto cake with a crispy apple between them, beef wellington. Breathe...I then ordered a cucumber vanilla martini (awesome, but not as awesome as the grapefruit one) and we proceeded to make ourselves sick with dessert. Donuts (waaaay better than Dunkin Donuts, I can’t believe I just said that out loud) with 3 different dipping sauces (chocolate, raspberry and caramel),

peanut butter mousse with concord grape sorbet,

and red velvet Twinkies.

Let me elaborate on the desserts and then I will give you my top 3 choices of the tapas. The peanut butter mousse was delicious, but the grape sorbet was too tart for me. The creamy smoothness of the peanut butter clashed with the texture and flavor of the sorbet.Chris and I discussed this last night and he basically said, “I am sorry you feel that way.” LOL! Anyways, I know he might read this and I want to apologize for offending him, if I did. Like I said, I am just stating my opinion and by no means is this blog going to have any impact whatsoever on the success of his restaurant. I think about 22 people are going to read this and only 2 of them live in Manhattan. As far as the red velvet Twinkie goes… I was a little nervous because one time when I was 6 years old I ate the entire family pack of Twinkies and got really really sick. To this day I cannot even smell one without gagging. So, being that red velvet cupcakes are one of my absolute favorite things to eat, I was a little scurred. Luckily, it tasted nothing like a Twinkie, and was properly stuffed with cream cheese frosting. At that point, I was ready to vomit and I kept eating the fucking thing.

My favorite things were (in no particular order) the bacon/lobster/truffle flatbread,
the beef wellington

and the orrecchiette with rabbit sausage. (no pic sorry, I couldn't keep up with the dishes as fast as they were coming!) I can’t wait to go back and eat the other 878 things on his menu! I am sure that I have not named the dishes as they were on the menu, I am merely describing the items in them. After all, when you are dining with the owner, what is the point of looking at the menu at all?

After dinner we were whisked away in a scary black SUV instead of a taxi (of course because only commoners use taxis) to a club called ‘who cares’ where we proceeded to drink more champagne. I spent most of my time there with Chris’s wife making fun of badly dressed, homely “models” that needed to eat some sandwiches. A handsome man named Marc showed up to take us to another club called ‘I hate hip hop’ and I have to say I was a little upset because I had just fixated on these two skanks from New Jersey dancing away with their hideous hair and outfits. Trust me, I am no Versace, but I do own a mirror and I have glanced over the pages of a fashion magazine in the last decade. The night ended at 5 am and I was dragging ass today at the convention. My first seminar was stupid so I walked out and cruised the show floor looking for cool stuff. It is far less nerdy than I thought and there are far less nerds than those that trickle over into the AVN show from CES every year. If you don’t know what either of those are, google them and let your imagination figure out the rest. I did get to hold and caress the Canon 7D Mark II with the get-up that I need to balance the thing over my shoulder. More on that in a week or so…

WHAT IS THIS?

My name is Laura.

I like to eat, drink and enjoy life. This is not a 12 step program. I am a raging alcoholic. You will read about the things I do to enrich my life. Some of it will be offensive. Some of it will be indulgent. Sometimes you will laugh (at me and with me). Sometimes you will learn something. My purpose is to learn how to live life. One day at a time.